The Experience of Motherhood

I listened to something tonight far enough in advance that I can post about it before the podcast is gone!! And it's Woman's Hour (from BBC Radio 4) so I think it stays available to listen again to(that link will stream the show in whatever media player is default on your machine I think) beyond the 7 days after broadcast.

Tuesday's Woman's Hour was a special devoted to "Experience of Motherhood". It's about our expectations and realities of motherhood, questioning whether it's idealized and whether woman/society downplay how hard it can be. Questioning whether that could be a factor in causing depression, difficulty bonding with baby and/or transitioning to a new identity as a mother. Really interesting to listen to. Of course there's a lot of ground that isn't covered or even touched upon, but it's only a 45 minute show after all. The Wednesday edition was a phone-in follow-up show which I'm looking forward to listening to also (podcast same place as above, listen again here).

Thought I'd mention it in case any of you out there would like to give it a listen too. It's interesting to my how what is difficult for one woman about motherhood is not going to be the hard part for another; how a lot of that seems to have to do with what you know you're letting yourself in for and what you don't; what you can and can't anticipate.

I always knew I wanted to be a mother. By the time my now 19 month old daughter was born I was better prepared than a lot of people I know in terms of understanding what hard work it can be especially at first. (I love the newborn stage so I think the mind numbing parts of the early weeks and months were offset by that along with my mum being around to help out for the first 6 weeks and a husband who adored the baby and helped out a lot.) But still there's a lot that I don't think you can understand until you're actually doing the mothering -- a lot about finding your new identity and finding out whether you're going to be the mother you envisioned or one that's quite different...

I love being a mother, I adore my daughter and she makes me happy every day, but she also drives me nuts at points everyday as she's becoming this wonderful person who we invited to live with us without knowing what her personality would be! The constant need from another person can be draining, it leaves me craving me time to myself that I hadn't recognized the importance of until I couldn't have it anymore. Not to mention all the things I want to do for my daughter, my family and myself that there simply aren't enough hours in the day for and yet I get so stressed that I can't so it all. (By which I mean live up to my personal ideal of the mother - and woman - I want to be not an overarching ideal of Motherhood that I measure all mothers against.) That's all I'm going to say about it here and now, maybe there'll be more when I've had time to digest and think (if the job of motherhood allows such a thing!!).

Pasta Bake

Here's my meatless dinner for Friday again. I was going to make pizza but completely forgot to make the dough on Thursday night, oops. Instead I made a pasta bake. The first pasta bake I made when I was in high school used a recipe seen on adverts for a UK supermarket. It remains a starting point for most of my pasta bakes today!

For this incarnation I cooked up some puy lentils (far and away my favourite kind of lentil) in some broth with garlic (I cooked extra with extra liquid so that I can make soup with the rest over the weekend).

Meanwhile I made a tomato sauce (well actually I chopped some celery which I fried a little before adding a large can of Muir Glen Organic Tomato Sauce because I was in a hurry and then threw in some black pepper, basil and oregano), and cooked some pasta.

Mixed together pasta, sauce and lentils and placed a layer in a baking dish. Added a thin layer of shredded fresh mozzarella (I've also used the shredded processed type of mozzarella made with skimmed milk which I like too, but fresh is better in my opinion) followed by the rest of the pasta mixture. Finally I grated some Parmesan cheese on top and put in a 400 degree oven for about 15 minute to get the cheese bubbly and a bit of crispness to the edges of the pasta on top.

This is always a popular dinner in our house, I sometimes use cheddar cheese, with or without the other kinds. I also make it with some, or several of the following with or without lentils and celery:
mushrooms
bacon chunks
spinach
kale
minced beef
corn
leeks
quorn chunks (when I lived in the UK)
roasted red pepper
tuna
... the possibilities go on and on it's such a good basic idea that you can use what ever bits and pieces you have in the pantry, fridge or freezer for.

Also this week I have made what I think must be my first loaf of bread this year amazingly enough. It's my "usual" version of the No-Knead Bread recipe (using 1 1/2 cups white bread flour, 1/2 cup whole wheat bread flour, 1/2 cup oat flour, 1/4 cup each barley and rye flour plus handfuls of sesame and poppy seeds).

I want to start making more of our bread again, and supporting local bakeries when I don't get around to baking myself (that part I've been doing, possibly too well, so far this year!). I like using the no-knead type recipes a lot of the time (as in this case) since it seems more possible with a toddler around who is liable to "need" me just as I'm in the middle of kneading or some other important step! Still I resolve to try some more of the recipes in the Bread Bible this year. In the no-knead bread department though I'm determined to make this chocolate bread I saw at flickr very soon!

Soup and Bread

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The Soup

Made this for lunch today with a little help from my daughter.

• In a frying pan with some olive oil cooked half an onion (left over from cooking dinner last night), the last of a cabbage and a rib of celery.

• Added those to a blender with a can of white beans, a can of crushed tomatoes and some home made chicken broth.

• Daughter did the honours blending ingredients 'til mostly smooth.

• Returned soup mixture to the pan and added chopped carrot and some brown rice leftover from last night's dinner plus garlic powder, celery salt, black pepper, basil and oregano.

• Simmered until the carrots were cooked. Served and ate.
  

The Bread

I read at slashfood that it was banana bread day and since I had some over ripe bananas I'd been meaning to bake with I took it as a poke with a sharp stick to get on with it!
I looked at my saved up to try recipes (since I didn't have enough bananas for the banana bread recipe I most often use) and found one for banana gingerbread which sounded good for this time of year.
I made it basically as in the recipe although I did use yoghurt instead of buttermilk, and just ginger, cinnamon and allspice for the spices. I was going to add chopped dates but as I was making the cake and cooking dinner simultaneously I ran out of time, but next time I definitely will.
It comes out with a nice gingeriness, not tasting a lot of banana in my first piece though perhaps I need to make banana jam next...

Ganmodoki with Vegetable Stir Fry over Rice

080222dinner
Originally uploaded by commonplaceiris.

Friday again and another meatless dinner. This time a vegetable stir fry over rice with ganmodoki on the side.

I printed out a recipe from ganmodoki I came across at the mostly vegan blog bunnyfoot a few years back. I made them and enjoyed them back then but had not made them for ages; prompted by the less meat project I dug out the recipe and had another go.

I didn't have green onion so I used half a yellow onion (which I sauteed a bit before adding to the mix). I left out the mushroom because daughter doesn't like them so far. Also had no ginger so put in some five spice mix. I used tamari instead of salt and not quite as much hijike as suggested (not being sure how well it would go down with husband and daughter). They're a little more crumbly to work with than is ideal, maybe next time I'll puree some of the tofu and or add some tahini and see whether that helps. Crumbliness aside, they were very tasty, I've been picking at the leftovers for the last few hours!

Also on the plate a stir fry of broccoli, carrot, shitake mushroom, green beans and garlic. Made a sauce using the water from soaking the mushrooms, a little broth, tamari, rice vinegar, sesame oil, five spice and tahini.

a filling day

Today the weather was much warmer than it has been in some time. It made for quite the misty, moisty morning! Here's a picture taken from outside the kitchen door. I didn't venture further outside than that however because it was wet and I suspect very slippery as all the compacted snow and ice got melty but didn't have time to actually disappear.

I actually spent the day trying to make some more headway in the house. It's part of my new start resolutions to get a grip on housework and clutter. I tackled the kitchen for a start, clearing things off the floor and vacuuming, I was hoping to wash the floor during naptime but my daughter woke up just as I was about to start. She mostly kept off the wet floor though so it all worked out. She had fun helping me move stuff and working beside me with her very own broom and dustpan and brush (which she got for Christmas). She's in constant motion these days but not totally ready to occupy herself for stretches of time (especially if it looks as though I'm trying to get something in particular done!!).

After the kitchen floor I ended up giving the same treatment to our front room's floor after my daughter threw her bowl down after polishing off a bowl of couscous, egg and peas. It shattered and the pieces covered a lot of ground so she had to wait in her high chair while I made the floor safe for little feet again.

After a long day I figured we needed a treat so I thought I'd try out a recipe that's been calling to me since I came across it a few days back. Checking out recipes at the Boston Globe I noticed molasses brownies and immediately printed out the recipe to try. They seem so appropriate for me since my usual breakfast includes a mug of hot cocoa sweetened with molasses.

I love them (husband and daughter seemed to agree). The molasses taste is strong, I'd say it overwhelms the chocolate -- it was like eating a treacle toffee cake! (NB I didn't add the coffee, I don't know what difference that would make to the taste balance.) I ate mine with some banana, maybe next time I'll try baking some banana into the brownies themselves. It's also quick and easy to throw together so will be going on my list of cooking projects for my daughter to join in with.

Dinner: Cheesy Leek & Potato Bake with Burgers

I'm trying to do the less meat thing generally, but also want to make at least one meat free dinner each week (certainly during Lent and hopefully beyond).

So this was our Friday night dinner for this week.

The potato cheese and leek bake is a big favourite in our house. We could eat just this really, and I've served this with some baked beans on the side before which goes well but I'm the only one in the house that likes baked beans (maybe that's what I'll have with the leftovers).

The burgers were an experiment based on a couple of recipes I've used in the past -- I prefer nut burgers to bean burgers but had some cooked beans that needed using up so made a compromise batch!

Cheesy Leek & Potato Bake
(based on a recipe from the Sainsbury's Vegetarian Cookbook -- I have two veggie recipe books that Sainsbury's put out back in the early 90s when I was a vegetarian and I still use them often.)

2 leeks thinly sliced and steamed for about 10 minutes
5 small/medium potatoes sliced thinly and par-boiled (could use a few more or less depending on appetite)

Layer the leek and potato in an oiled baking dish and pour over a cheese sauce, sprinkle some reserved cheese (or grate on some parmesan perhaps).
Bake for a bout 30 mins at 375-400 degrees

For the cheese sauce melt a good knob of butter (or warm other fat) in a sauce pan, sprinkle on flour and cook until toasty. Add in some mustard (I used honey mustard but have used other kinds in the past) and pepper. Pour in liquid (I used about a cup of chicken broth so this wasn't actually suitable for a vegetarian but I have also made it with veggie stock in the past, and with milk as per the original recipe). Bring to a gentle boil while stirring. Remove from heat and stir in cheese (I used 4 oz grated cheddar, the recipe calls for 2oz but we love cheese and I wasn't using milk in the sauce).

Burgers
(based on recipes from Mark Bittman in the NYTimes -- two years ago exactly it turns out! -- for bean burgers and nut burgers)

1 cup nuts (I used brazil nuts, almonds plus a handful or two of sunflower seeds)
1 cup beans and lentils
1/2 cup of oats
1 egg
1 shallot
1 clove garlic
some leeks saved from the bake
generous Tbspn of tahini and another of tomato paste
celery salt, paprika, basil
(I think that's everything, I meant to write it down as I went along.)

I put the oats and nuts in the food processor first to get them ground up evenly then gradually added in the other ingredients dryer first and wetter last.
Shape into burgers, I coated them in a little oat flour and fried them up.

They came out pretty tasty if a little bland. In the original recipes there's a lot more spice added but I was hoping my daughter would eat some and didn't want to over spice so erred on the side of caution. I think next time I'd certainly add more tomato paste at the very least. I ate mine with a bit of ketchup, my husband had mustard with his and that was plenty flavourful.

January KAL - first sock finished!

January KAL - first sock finished!
Originally uploaded by commonplaceiris.

Still working on my January socks for the 2008 sock knitalong group at ravelry. I finished the first one (modeled here with help from my lovely assistant).

I'm close to turning the heel on the second sock, so maybe I'll manage to finish in time to start February socks in February!! Once they're finished I'll try to get a better photo since none of the ones I took today came out particularly well (I'm just pleased they're in focus since my daughter was climbing all over the place while I was trying to take them).

Diagonal Rib Socks by Ann Budd from Interweave Knits, Winter 2004(my project page at ravelry) (download pattern as a pdf file here). The yarn is ONline Supersocke 100.